Never Dropped You Once

Did you ever play on the swing as a kid?

Higher and higher you'd go, closing your eyes and grinning as the wind swept across your face, when you heard a voice in front of you, calling your name.

It was your daddy. "Jump," he'd beckon, holding out his arms. "I'll catch you."

There was never a question of whether he would.

It was safe to let go of the ropes with daddy waiting there, safe to jump when he called,

I'll catch you.

It was perfect security, knowing daddy loved you, that he'd never once dropped you.

Not once.


A few years have passed since then. You're all grown up now, trying to make decisions, maybe kind of worried. Then you hear a voice calling.

It's your Father. "Jump. I'll catch you."

His arms are up to the challenge. He's strong, and He's had a lot of practice. When He calls to you, telling you to jump, you can trust Him.

He will catch you.

After all, He loves you.

And He's never dropped you once.

Filtered Through Fingers of Love

“Joy, peace, and stability come from believing

that every circumstance that touches our lives 

has first been filtered through His fingers of love 

and is part of a great, eternal plan 

that He is working out in this world and in our lives.”

—Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Lies Women Believe

Whoever would draw near to God must believe 

that He rewards those who seek Him.

~From Hebrews 11:6

Faith, Questions & 2010

This past year began with a lot of questions. It's been a year with seemingly no rhyme or reason, settling in at church and work, comfortable in who I am, while at the same time being asked to step out with faith in some ways that honestly scare me.

It's been a year of ups and downs, with time flying by sometimes, and other times dragging on, feeling like life will go on the same way forever. It's offered me a lot of decisions. Held a few awesome road trips, a bunch of great friends and plenty of new experiences. 

It's been a good year.

Christmas time '10
with my best friend and sister

Learning to worship God with all that I am, just because He is worthy, is an incredible experience. Praising Him just because I know He is awesomely faithful, whether everything seems to be going my way or not. Because I have tasted and seen that He is good. Seen Him provide time and again. Witnessed the amazing ways He takes what seems hopelessly broken and fashions something beautiful beyond imagination. Watched disappointments often turn out to be wiser answers to my prayers than my dreams ever were.

Some answers I'm still waiting on. But if I've come away from 2010 with nothing else, I know this: My God is greater than fear, pain or obstacles. Greater than my plans and dreams.

He is the Master Designer, who will fulfill His purposes for my life. He loves through every season of doubt or failure. Gives peace for today and brilliant hope for tomorrow. He doesn't give up on me.

I've mulled over this quote a lot, because it captures my thoughts better than I can:

“I am so flawed that Jesus had to die for me, yet I am so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me. This leads to deep humility and deep confidence at the same time.” -Timothy Keller, The Reason For God

I don't want to waste this Love, or keep it all to myself. I want to place the kind of value on each person that Jesus does, to not give up on them. I want to make a difference, to pass His love on. I don't want to live a little life. And I don't want to love just a little, either. After all, my God loved with everything He had, everything He was. Whether it was well-received or spat back in His face. He loved anyway.

That is what I want to do. These are my ambitions for the new year.

To know my God better. To learn to really love others. To step out of my "boat" when Jesus calls, "Come." Even when I'm scared to cross the sea in front of me. I know Who called me and that He won't let me drown.

I've still got questions. Lots of them. But I know God is piecing together this puzzle into a spectacular masterpiece, and I'm really excited to see what He's going to do in 2011!

Chris Tomlin's "Our God" would have to be my summary song of 2010.

Water You turned into wine
Opened the eyes of the blind
There's no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shine
Out of the ashes we rise
There's no one like You
None like You

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God, You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God

And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

Nothing is greater than my God.

This is the God that goes ahead into this year.

When Life is a Question Mark

I have an awful lot of questions.

Me in Thornbury, ON, Fall 2010. Photography by Melody Whitney.

I may not have always asked them out loud, for fear of sounding silly, but for as long as I can remember I've looked at everyday objects, wondered who invented it and how they thought it up. I look at a word and am curious as to how it came to be. When told of God's love, I try to comprehend how could He really see me as blemish-free, and love me not conditioned on my performance. At times, I dare myself, for a split second, to prove whether laws of gravity and physics actually hold true in every case, but my fortunately my brain (or maybe just my self-preservation instinct) kicks in rather swiftly and I disregard the foolish notions.

My sisters have looked at me strange if I would dare to voice my questions out loud. "Wow, you have a strange mind. Where do you come up with these thoughts? It's how it is, so I don't even think about it."

So, most of the time I keep my questions locked inside my head, or silently turn to Google or dictionary.com for answers.

But... *gasp* Google isn't providing the answers to all my questions these days!

What should I be doing with my life? 


Should I go to college? What should I study? How will I pay for everything? 

What if I don't find "the right somebody to love" (as Shirley Temple put it) for a long time… or never?

What if I end up as a career woman all my life, and never have a family of my own?

What if I choose a career and end up hating it? 


How can I make a difference, whether by career, volunteer projects and ministries, or just in the lives of family and those I meet every day?


How can I find and maintain passion and purpose in life, through EVERY season?


These are some of the questions weighing on my heart in this time of entering adulthood. Sometimes it feels more like breaking and entering, like it's a foreign place where I'm not sure I belong.

These are things that have kept me running to God.

Crying.

Searching.

Clinging.

Waiting.

These are what pull me closer to His heart, until I'm near enough to feel His heartbeat. Close enough to hear Him whisper, "I love you," as His embrace assures me that it's going to be okay. Close enough to realize that He would never leave me abandoned or cause me pain unnecessarily.

"I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jer. 29:11)

He is good. I know this much. The rest? Does it really matter so much whether I know?

I know He's led me this far.

He's gonna continue.

Waiting

Have you not known? 

Have you not heard? 

The Lord is the everlasting God… 

He does not faint or grow weary; 

His understanding is [beyond our comprehension]. 

Thornbury, ON ~ Photography by Melody Whitney

He gives power to the fainting… 
They who wait [or, watch in expectation] for the Lord 

will renew their strength; 

They will [soar above the storms] like eagles; 

They will run and not be weary; 

They will walk and not faint. 

~Isaiah 40:28-31

The Gift of Thorns

"It seems that His servants who are used in special ways 

often experience commensurate trials. These trials 

are simultaneously burdens God gives 

to keep them utterly dependent; 

and thorns which pin back the veil that hides His face. 

In a fallen world, they are gifts." 

—Sono Harris (emphasis mine)